WHY?!?!?!?!

A = average, B = bad, C = fail, D = death, F = fail at life

this is basically my grading scale in college. no no no...it's not ridiculous or unfair, and i'm not being hard on myself. this is the standard that i hold myself to (and I'll say that a low "A" is average, and anything above is good or great). i think of it like this, Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians 10:31, "Whether therefore you eat, or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God." so when i apply this to school, I know that my best is nothing less than an "A." so looking at it through a different "lens," that scale begins to make sense (at least to me). now i haven't gotten straight A's or anything..i'm definitely not perfect or a genius at school...but this is my standard.

so this semester seems to be different than everything. literally. i have lots and lots of excuses for this...but i am quite apathetic about school and my grades right now. shocking..i know :) i really only have 1 class that is "bad" right now..and i don't really care. but i'm kind of getting sad about it. like, i don't know what is happening to me!!! what is going on inside my head??? i was talking with my wonderful grandpa earlier this semester about this unique phenomenon that i've been dealing with... and he said it like this. "you have a sickness kevin. once you feel the 'high' of getting good grades, you begin to not let yourself get anything less. when you do, you aren't satisfied with it. i had it when i was in college, and you have it too." all this, coming from a man who got his bachelors of electrical engineering at the University of Kentucky (where he is now in the hall of distinction), then got his masters in electrical engineering from MIT (Massachusetts Institute of Technology. kind of a good school. look it up), then got another master's somewhere else in business i believe...then got invited...by harvard....to do an executive PhD business program. so needless to say, i listen to whatever he tells me. but he also told me to not worry about it, and do my best. if my best is a B, then it brings God glory. if my best is a C, it brings God glory. if my best in an A, and i get a C...well hah. that's another story.

it's so hard to find motivation right now to study. as you can tell, i've thought about this a LOT for the past month or so. i've had different theories. 1) i studied all summer for the DAT, and am getting burned our early. similar to finals..but the summer studying messed up my studying, and i blew my best studying too early..and now i'm useless. 2) i have the disease called "senioritis." from what i understand it to be, i'm in my last year of school, and i'm not really pressured or anything..and i don't really care about grades. i just need to pass and move on. and 3) i'm going to lots of dental schools for interviews right now. not wanting to sound all egotistical or like an arrogant jerk, but i trust that God will allow me to attend one next year. so with that in mind...my GPA doesn't really matter anymore because i've already submitted all my relevant stuff.

so instead of trying to find my "excuse" between those three....i've decided to combine them and make them 1 big excuse for my current situation with my grades. but at the end of the day...it's still just an excuse. and excuses are lame. aaaaahhhhhhh. ugh. what's even the purpose of this post then? to have a semi legit question....only to answer it with something that i don't like broadcasting.... the solution to a problem is never an excuse.

why am i still typing?

and fyi, i never talk about my grades or anything. i'm not an arrogant prideful genius who brags about grades the whole time. i am ALLOWED to talk about it here because 1) it's my blog and i can type whatever i want, 2) i only gave it to like....<10 people who all know me well. and 3) ......i want to? nevermind the 3. just the first 2.