College

I think I said that I wouldn’t blog until I was finished with school, but I’m basically finished right now. I can not take one final and still pass the class, and my other final is a presentation which I gave in another class, and which I can bs if necessary.

I have learned a copious amount of things about life within the past school year. Far too much to put here, and I hope to remember and relay here as much as I can.

I have learned how to be my own man. Moving out of the house was probably one of the best things I’ve ever done. Not because I don’t have to live with my family (it wasn’t on bad terms, I love them), but because I wasn’t “under” my parents anymore. I could finally say, “My life is mine.” Yes, I moved ten minutes away (literally). Guys get it. Girls say, “What? That makes no sense. Why not just live at home?” Girls don’t get it. My grandpa says (and I agree), a boy doesn’t become a man until he leaves his parents house. The difference between living at home last year and now is this: I can confidently say that I am my own man. No longer am I known as a “Lassiter child,” but I am my own entity. I feel like I’m repeating the same thing. It’s difficult to convey. This paragraph can be summed up by the word: independence.

I’ve learned to make my faith my own. I had it good when I was at my parent’s house. I am learning (takes a while) that I am responsible for my faith. I was relatively sheltered at my house. Now I’m in the world, and it sucks and it’s hard, but it’s so worth having this precious faith and relationship I have in and with God. My faith has grown more than I knew possible, and could even fathom. I have shared the most intimate moments with my Savior that words can’t even express. I am closer to God because of this last school year.

I have learned about time management. I am responsible for things, and they have to be done by deadlines. I hate deadlines. I don’t like being told to do something by a certain date; I’d rather do it because I want to. But because the university system makes me take things unrelated to my career path, I procrastinate! I learned that I need deadlines, or else things won’t get done. I also realized that my time management strategies don’t work. At all. At home, I had mom to “remind” me to do school. Now I had to remind myself to do school. Ugh talk about a chore. I learned responsibility though. How could I ever get married if I’m not responsible for myself, right? Not saying I’ll get married any time soon. I mean, I need someone who I can trick into marrying me, right? Anyways… my strategy almost failed me this last week. I came very close to not passing one of my classes. God slapped me in the face. I wasn’t working my best for God’s glory, but I was doing the minimum to cruise on by. I don’t like being an average, mediocre person, especially calling myself a follower of Christ. Jesus wasn’t mediocre when he willingly was murdered for us. He didn’t take the lazy, easy way out. He did the hard thing; the hardest thing. He gave his best. I want to give my best. In the upcoming years, I’m going to give my best effort. I’ll need people to hold me to it, but I’m not glorifying God with anything less than my best.

I have learned a great deal about relationships. They come and go; that’s one thing you can always count on. I also learned that I shouldn’t depend on people. At the end of the day, they’re sinners just like I am. The only one who is strong enough to depend on is Jesus. He was called the “cornerstone” and “solid rock/foundation” for a reason. Back to my last short blog: some people love to their detriment, and some people don’t love to their detriment. Sadly, I’m usually guilty of the latter. I have this massive fear of loneliness and rejection. Being a reserved person, I have a difficult time opening up to people. I’m an open book, I’m “real,” I don’t sugarcoat anything, but I also don’t open up (fully) to many people, usually to my detriment. I have a lot of thoughts about things, but I don’t want people to misinterpret what I say so I usually don’t say it. There are about 3 people who I can fully and openly talk with at school, and one is my sister. I say “about 3” because of what I said earlier: friends come and go. Another, I love him, but we’re growing apart. Yes it makes me sad…I don’t know. I have learned that I need to love more, and show it. I have learned that I can’t show love to people when it isn’t present it me. I won’t put on a show for anyone. I don’t wear masks; I’m the same person around everyone. I realized there are tons of fake people in this world. They never “get” me either. Oh well. Change happens, just gotta keep moving onward.


Well I started this yesterday morning, and don’t have the flow to finish it. Maybe I’ll add later, maybe not. Regardless I hope you liked it and found something worth anything in there.

Oh yeah, I’m done with school now. ☺ I’m excited to say the least. It feels nice. Like getting out of a good movie, I feel energized and ready to move on to the next thing. Well….minus the energized part. I’m ready for a break. Yay summer!

As of now, I’m either going to San Antonio for 6 weeks to do an Officer Basic Leadership course with the US Army, OR I’m going to stay in California with my family and live there all summer. I’ll have my vespa, maybe get a job, study anatomy, learn guitar, maybe I’ll finally learn Italian, or german. The summer is still open for me, so we’ll see what God brings to me.

Peace, love, and grace.